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More or Less Church

Joanna Depue "DJ/Deacon J" writes original songs and liturgies, does daily Farm office work and records Barbara's eMos on The Geranium Farm. A singer and dog trainer she utilizes healing touch in her private massage practice. PLEASE share YOUR original ideas for worship, special liturgies, prayers, songs, sermons and noteworthy blogs right here.
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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Yes, Virginia, there is vanity in church

Like many of you, I'd like to live a life that is much more simple. This chasm between reality and idealism was brought up close and personal this week.

I am still sorting through the items and papers I transported from my tiny office cubicle to my home upon retiring at the end of July. I file directions for the trips I take with Barbara for future reference (and mileage). During the past 2 weeks I was inundated with promotional material from every candidate for every office in my town and county (and let's not even open up the can of worms about those pre-fab phone pleas for votes).

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, as of September 1, 2007 we have entered the season of: CATALOGUES! From Lands End to Harry and David, all you have to do is spend money.

Three other catalogues come to my home: CM Almy, Augsburg Fortress and WomenSpirit. These three catalogues contain products for clergy, especially clerical blouses and vestments. I don't know WHY I should be shocked that these catalogues arrive with all the others. After all, we're gearing up for Advent and Christmas ... and what would your congregation think if you were still wearing that same faded black clerical blouse???? Oh my, what WOULD they think? I mean, of ALL PEOPLE, you should be wearing 'your Sunday best' every Sunday, most of all during the holidays. Deciphered this means quality nice clothes and tasteful, polished footwear.

In my personal world, my idea of bliss is a T-shirt, a cotton version of a sweat pant (now called lounge wear, I have been informed)and a pair of sneakers. However, I know when I go 'to work' that there is the expectation of proper work attire. At the Farm we go from church to church to visit, preach or attend a function of some sort. So the time that parishioners see you may be the ONLY time they see you. The first impression you make may be the only impression.

Lo and behold, I got up the gumption and bought 2 pair of slacks and a nice pair of black shoes with a slight heel. I am in the process of upgrading my wardrobe, piece by piece. Two weeks ago I gave in and ordered a couple of clerical blouses. Mind you, there is no bargain basement for clergy clothing - AND(women clergy out there, you know this reality)- a clergy blouse inevitably costs more than a clergy shirt.

Of course, I wished I was the same size now as I was 14 years ago when I was ordained; alas, a desk job, daily car commute and menopause have taken their toll on my figure. I now have my mother's caboose and wattle: you know, that chin beneath your chin. Wattle wreaks havoc on an unforgiving rigid plastic collar. For the sake of some comfort I purchased 2 more blouses - this time with a tab collar (roomier with the appearance of less wattle).

So I have succumbed to vanity, vanity, vanity. Now, I just have to remember to vacuum the car more frequently and pack a lint remover at all times so that Miss Emmy Lou's brown fur does not accessorize all my dark clothing!


Blogger Where fibers meet mud said...

Sigh! Welcome to the world of high fashion - had a boss once who made it my daily job to de-fur him and his blue and black suits - it was too funny - he always missed that one wrap around spot where the cat would wind just before he left the house...

8:09 AM  

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