This writing thing is NOT first nature.... or even second nature at this point. Last week, juggling the rigors of being back at the house, of attempting to keep Emmy Lou's coat in some semblance of fit (can anyone tell me how a short-haired dog can shed enough undercoat to fill a throw pillow each week???), of sniffling through the worst tree pollen season on record I came home each night and plopped myself in front of my trusty lap top and could type out about 3 sentences..... and then backspace until each sentence disappeared from the screen.
OK, God (says I).... what is going on here? How about some divine intervention that could translate into an entry for MOLC? Any hints?...... the silence was fairly resounding.
Bottom line: I'm spoiled... very spoiled. I have been given so many gifts by my Creator that I might well fall into the category of "Jacqueline of All Trades" I can sing easily and have perfect pitch. Can cartoon, have an uncanny ear for languages and dialects, mimic in a heartbeat, can program a VCR, cook and impromptu meal, tape out and paint walls (thanks for your guidance, C to make me a better painter than I have any right to be), install ceiling fans, speak to animals, listen to hearts...... all this with very little effort on my part. It just seems to happen, comes naturally.
Ah, the problem comes when I have to 'work at it'..... for example, meetings. I REALLY have to work at getting myself to, remaining seated and involved in the meeting 'process'. Truth be told, it's easier for me to tolerate hearing fingernails dragged on a blackboard (anyone remember what a blackboard is????) for minutes at a time than to sit through a meeting.
For the last year and change Barbara has contracted with me to write MOLC.... whether I have a blast of creative inspiration or not. Suddenly I have an incredible amount of compassion for the writers of yesteryear would would sit with a pad and pencil.... writing three lines and - dissatisfied - tearing off the sheet and crumpling it, eventually tossing it onto the growing heap of unfruitful attempts at communication which once was a wastepaper basket.
I think my muse is on vacation.... sabbatical? strike? spring break? Whatever the cause, it is a bit unnerving to show up and have no thought flow nearly effortlessly through the fingers to the keys.
In the interest of fairness, this installment is less MOLC and more MOLL (More or Less Life). We all have 'one of those days', personally, professionally, spiritually.
My novice mistress at CSJB, Sr. Suzanne Elizabeth would offer a pearl of wisdom when I hit a barren patch in my prayer life. "Sometimes" she would say, "you can't pray. There is no motivation to pray or to listen to what God may say to you. In those moments, pray to want to pray. God will hear your intention and answer you ".
So it may be with whatever your challenge is.... waiting, exercise, trusting, trying. If you don't 'want' to do any of those things, your approach must be to want to want to. Slowly but surely something will work out.
...... and, as humble as this edition may be, it got done and got posted. Give credit where credit is due....... thanks be to God! Alleluia, Alleluia!