Am I useful? Am I worthy?
Over the ages, the flavor of our theology, our forms of worship, have underscored that struggle. An easily identifiable example is the prayer 'of humble access' utilized in the 1928 Book of Common Prayer and maintained in Rite I of the 1979 BCP. " We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table" . That being said, in the eyes of God we obviously were and are worth it - as evidenced by the Incarnation and Christ's passion, death and resurrection.
It is important, in the scheme of things, to have a sense of humility - to understand where we fit in history and in heaven. I think the sacrament of reconciliation is important because it keeps us grounded. We humbly ask God to forgive us and risk exposing our entire being, most specifically our faults, to another human being. That is humbling. And it is a true sense of humility, not the false humility we may put on when thinking we are not fit - because of our mistakes, our character flaws, our human weaknesses - to be in both the service and presence of God. Here is a little list sent by Debbie of Hodgepodge that may help put your worth into perspective:
The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember:
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced (more than once!)
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer...AND
Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses now. The God who made you and knows your inmost being can use you to your full potential....
Besides, you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.
To paraphrase a wonderful prayer, "God, grant me the Serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the Courage to change the one I can, and the Wisdom to know it's me."
You are precious in God's sight. Use, then, the eyes God has given you to see the preciousness in others. Once you allow yourself to be embraced by the love of God, you may hear the call of God to serve. When that time comes, realizing your worth by God's grace you will be able to say: Here I am. Send me.