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More or Less Church

Joanna Depue "DJ/Deacon J" writes original songs and liturgies, does daily Farm office work and records Barbara's eMos on The Geranium Farm. A singer and dog trainer she utilizes healing touch in her private massage practice. PLEASE share YOUR original ideas for worship, special liturgies, prayers, songs, sermons and noteworthy blogs right here.
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Friday, July 25, 2008

Meditation from a Farmer

Farmer Thom Shuman of Cincinnati, Ohio sent this in after reading a weekday Gospel passage. Wise words put cleverly. Thank you so much, Thom!

'Vocatus atque non vocatus
deus aderit'

I've checked into Motel Stupid so many
times in my life, tossing and turning on
its hairshirt bed. Yet every morning,
you are there, straightening up the room,
putting out clean linen, hanging up my
clothes, wanting to know if there is anything
else you can do for me.

I've found myself in the crushing crowd at
the Chaos concert, pushed and pulled and
pummeled by the fears, doubts, and worries
all around me. And I feel your hand on my
shoulder, as you whisper in my ear, 'I've
got your back.'

I've bellied up to the bar at the Pub of Bad
Choices, where you wipe off the bar with
your veronica towel, top off my pint, hand
it to me, and lean on your elbows asking,
'so, what brings you here tonight?'

Packed and finally ready to go, I take the
last train to nowhere, hopping off and walking
the last few yards to the edge of despair, where
you stand looking over, shaking your head and
muttering to yourself, 'looks like a long drop
to the bottom' as you shine your light for me.

Over the entrance to his house in Zurich, and
on his tombstone, psychologist Carl Jung had
inscribed 'Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit.' ("Bidden or not bidden, God is present.")

p.s. If you'd like to see more of Thom's work, check out his website at:

Monday, July 21, 2008

Addendum to "All Things Lambeth"

This contribution is from Farmer Wendy Lyons of Suffield, CT

She writes:

"Letters to Lambeth is a thoughtful "LGTB" site encouraging people to write letters that try to put a face on those members of our church that some wish to have excluded from full participation. The idea is that it is easier to make up exclusive rules about an imaginary faceless labeled group, than about living, breathing, thinking, loving, worshipping, faithful individuals. The letters are sent to the bishops meeting for the Lambeth Conference, and may be private, or public (writer allows for publication on the site or elsewhere) Some very interesting contributions from the former archbishop of Uganda, as well as many from 'ordinary' Anglicans/Episcopalians of all ages and sexual orientations. I just discovered the site as a link from a parish website, but I gather it is not new, and was established in response to the expressed wish from the 1998 Lambeth Conference that there be an ongoing 'listening process' on the issues of sexuality and the church."

Thanks, Wendy, for the inclusive update.

Lighter fare for hot summer days and nights

This was passed on by Ms. Debbie, Queen of Hodgepodge. Written by Todd and Jedd Hafer, it is contained in a book entitled Little Wonders by Mary Hollingsworth. Along with all those wacky bumper stickers, messages on church sign boards and typos in church bulletins, these snippets from a childs understanding can be a tonic for the yawns of summer.

In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with this complete overview of the Bible, compiled from their essays:

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people.
These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every
day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten Commandments. These
include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the
President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor they father and they mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that
doesn't sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of
these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick
up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

If you have any goodies of this ilk to share, send them on to:

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